John (my husband) writes a leadership blog where he pulls together different articles from writers he admires. The article below applies not only to professionals, but I believe it also applies to families. One of the things you will hear from me is allowing your children to learn from their own mistakes, especially while they have you to support them. As you read the following article, think about ways you can apply it to your parenting. If you are interested in signing up for John's emails, you can do so at this link. I love the graphic at the bottom - perfect to print to remind yourself and your teens that mistakes can be good thing.
We are all prideful individuals and all perfectionists to one degree or another, but in a high performance, high velocity environment mistakes will be made, and we will all make them. The question is how we respond and recover from mistakes or hardships; how do we learn from these lessons and rebound in a better position, as a better leader and person. Here are some great strategies that may help put how to best deal from those inevitable mistakes and hardships into perspective. A mentor of mine once told me, you are going to fall down, the key is to fall forward. In other words, learn from your fall and keep moving in the right direction- forward.
What is your orientation to mistakes?
What is your “compass” or “map” for navigating mistakes?
“So live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!”
- Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning
How to Learn Lessons From the Hardships or Mistakes You Face: Acknowledgment: Center for Creative Leadership and Village: The Wholehearted School
Don’t let the hardship be everything.
Rest, exercise, and make time for wellness where you can. Spend time — even if it’s remotely — reconnecting with people who make you laugh, and do things that get your mind off your troubles. Recovery time, even if in small amounts, is essential for learning.
Don’t be ashamed of failures, mistakes, or struggles.
To learn, you need to reflect on the experience. Plus, reluctance to talk to others or get support can make your hardship that much more difficult to overcome. Instead of beating yourself up over it, figure out what you can do differently in the future, and keep moving forward.
Resist the temptation to put the blame on the situation or others’ shortcomings. Try not to react defensively when other people give you feedback or point out things you are (or aren’t) doing. Denying problems or shifting blame away from yourself will not serve you in the long run.
Keep asking questions:
Reflect: How might this hardship be a new challenge? What might I learn as a result? How might lessons from past experiences apply? How am I feeling? What’s my intuition telling me? What are my actions telling me about what’s working and what’s not working? What can I learn from what I and others did in this situation? What feedback do I need to seek from others? How might this help me going forward?
Connect with others:
If you’re experiencing discrimination, bias, or injustice, reach out to people who can relate or support you. Internalizing the experience won’t help you or anyone else, and it will only allow the situation to fester. Identify people you trust and figure out how you’d like to proceed.
Look back - find your lessons of experience:
Hardships aren’t the main way people learn — experience is the primary teacher. Center for Creative Leadership ‘s Lessons of Experience research tells us that almost a quarter of all leadership development stems from hardships. That’s more than classroom experiences or formal training opportunities, meaning that what you’re going through right now could be a powerful catalyst on your leadership journey
Have a wonderful week -
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