Keys to growing and transforming yourself into who you want to be is what we are all looking for. It’s a journey and a transformation and ensuring you don’t wimp out on yourself is critical. Fear and weakness are your internal enemies, stronger than any external enemies you may face. Resolve to beat the crap out them! Got your attention, good. Here are some keys to overcoming your self-imposed roadblocks.
1. Don’t be a complainer
If you catch yourself complaining about anything, STOP. Nobody appreciates your complaining so why participate in yours or anyone else’s bitching.
By taking the option of complaining out of your personality, the rest of your character will shine brighter.
2. Accept Fear but don’t give into it
Don’t let anyone tell you that they don’t experience fear. Everyone experiences fear and to have courage, you will have also have fear. Expect it and embrace it but move on quickly. Fear is real and it can be debilitating, don’t let it stop you. Fear of the unknown, fear of getting started, fear of looking bad and on and on. Stop being afraid, accept fear as normal but know that being afraid and still moving forward makes the spoils even sweeter and let’s face it, feeling fear is better than the feeling of regret. So stop procrastinating, be fierce in the face of fear!
3. Failing is more than an option, it is a prerequisite to greater success
Speaking of fear, you will experience fear and you will most definitely experience failure. You undoubtedly will fall, and you can choose to fall and stay down, or you can choose to fall forward knowing damn well that you will get up to fight another day. Failing and not only surviving but enduring and overcoming disappointment and setbacks. So accept failure as part of the process but battle on!
4. Prepare to work
Know and accept that you are going to work your ass off, that you will struggle along the way. There is no easy road to success, the potholes and detours will be there, and it will frustrate and slow you down. Don’t stop doing the work. Never give up, regardless of how far you get, or don’t get, you will be better for it!
5. Complacency is your enemy
It’s easy to sit back and sit tight in your comfort zone. Your life is ‘okay’, why upset your apple-cart by stretching yourself, trying to better yourself, trying something new? Boredom and stagnating and not good for you, get out of bed, off of the couch and get moving!
6. Your mind can be like a dark alley
It’s easy to get wrapped up in negative emotions and in doing so worry about and overthink everything. Monkey brain… too many jumbled, scattered thoughts, ruminations and daydreaming, and not enough action is bad for you. Once you go down that alley of negative thoughts, nothing good can happen and you could easily bet mugged by your negative thugs (emotions). Go to the light!
7. Let go of the past
Speaking of monkey brain, too often our thoughts lead to our pasts, what we would of, could of and should have done yesterday or years ago.. Nothing wrong with looking back a bit, but dwelling on your past is a dark alley you want to stay out of. Don’t get me wrong, it’s natural to look back and it’s really okay to have regrets; a person that tells you that they don’t have regrets is lying to themselves, we all have things we wished we hadn’t said or done. That’s a part of living and growing as a person but dwelling on what should have been is recipe for negative emotions and will stifle your efforts to live for the moment. Don’t waste your time living in the past! (Stay out of that dark alley)
8. Don’t be ordinary
Ordinary is boring, ordinary is being average. Do you want to be average? Take average out of your vocabulary. Think exceptional, extraordinary, remarkable! Stop trying to be like someone else or fitting in. Boring! Embrace who you are, imperfections, quirks and all, and stand tall and confident. You’ve heard the phrase, ‘be the best version of yourself’, what does that look like? Transforming yourself is not about discarding your identity all together, it’s about stepping out of your comfort zone and growing into the person you want to be. Visualize and go for it because fearing what you want to become will stop you from ever having a chance for real happiness. Once again, don’t fear the fear, focus on embracing your transformation!
9. Don’t take yourself to seriously
But wait a minute, if I’m going to work so hard at becoming the best version of myself, I have to be serious right? Yes and no, yes life is hard work, achieving your dreams is hard work. It can be seemingly so hard that the fear of starting is just too much. You have to lighten up, taking yourself too seriously, taking others too seriously leads to anxiety, frustration etc (there we go again, negative emotions). You have to lighten the journey and it starts by looking for opportunities to smile and laugh and even more impactful is when you make others smile or laugh. Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease. Laughter triggers the release of endorphins. These are the body's natural feel-good chemicals, which promote an overall sense of well-being and temporary pain relief. Doing things for yourself and others has the same effect. Find ways to have fun, to smile and laugh, surprise yourself and be spontaneous, and see what happens.. Life is too short, if nothing else make it FUN!
Fear is one of the most common emotions that prevent people from living in line with their values and pursuing meaningful goals. Afraid of the unknown. Afraid of failure. Yet we can be sure of one thing: Failure is guaranteed if we do not even try to reach our goals and aspirations! To live in line with personal values, it is important to set goals and pursue them, despite fear.
“For some people, their fear to lose is greater than their desire to succeed, so they end up doing nothing and their dreams become impossible.” – Rodolfo Costa
With Gratitude,
John Sanders, ACC 'the coach' Leadership & Clinician Coach "do what you love in the service of those who love what you do" Mobile: 425-830-9679
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